A hunt for a Skankhunt
by GhostlyEscapade
Summary: Skankhunt42 has caused Cartman to lose all his social media devices and all the male students to lose their girlfriends, what is he and Kenny going to do about it. (Currently on Hiatus.)
1. Chapter 1

Cartman laid crying on the wooden flooring, he had just woke up to see his once friends finishing up burying all his electronic devices, earlier that evening he had just witnessed them take and break everything he held dear, he no longer has any wi-fi devices left besides his Xbox which they had broke all his controllers to, he couldn't believe what he was seeing they honestly thought he was the internet troll Skankhunt42 after he had told them countless times and again that he is not him! He ended up passing out on the floor in disbelief inside the log cabin they had lured him into before doing the unthinkable. He has nothing left to live for now and the other boys seem very pleased with themselves, those assholes ruined his life and he'll never forgive them for what they have done to him. He finally slowly exits the cabin and walks away down the path they came from trying to ignore the evil and proud grins of the others, Clyde seems a bit sympathetic of him but fuck him he did just as much damage as everyone else. He continues walking down the path with his now empty bag while lost in thought

"I haven't even done anything to any of them for weeks and they still treated me like shit I just don't understand it, I thought we were friends but I was wrong... Still, I have at least one I can call a friend in this God forsaken world."

* * *

Kenny was in his brother's room reading his sister Karen a story but was interrupted by his mother calling him to the front door "It's okay Kenny we can finish the story next night" Karen said with a soft smile before closing her eyes Kenny left the room after telling Karen goodnight and went into the living room where he saw Eric Cartman on his couch crying his eyes out Kenny's mom had let him inside the house.

"C-cartman? What's wrong?" Kenny asked though already knowing what had happened from an earlier tweet sent to him by Kyle

"Kenny! Oh God... It's just awful the guys they- oh my gosh I just can't"  
Kenny sighed before sitting next to Eric and patting him "Kenny I swear to god I am not Skankhunt42 but no one will listen, they destroyed all my social media devices and now I have nothing, I don't even have the money to get new ones what am I gonna do-oh god all my saved bookmarks and text posts gone!"  
Cartman continued to cry his heart out about losing his privileges while clinging to Kenny's parka soaking it.

"Why didn't you just show everyone your phone when they asked?" Kenny said looking down at the sobbing kid.

"That would be a breach of my civil rights I'm semi PC now Kenny I didn't want people snooping through my phone."

"Why?"

"Cause I have some serious personal stuff saved to my phone..." Eric said looking towards the floor and sitting up straight quieting his sobs with a few hiccups.

"No, I mean why are you PC now? You like crushing puss?" Kenny asked jokingly.

"PC stands for politically correct not pussy crushing I find that statement highly offensive Kenny."

"Sorry, why did you become PC?"

"To be honest I thought being a bit more PC would make the guys at school like me more, I was always a bigot and cruel to them so I thought I would change that for once, but those assholes...  
T-they still treated me the same... And... And... I want revenge...!" Cartman replied with a mixer of anger and sadness "Oh God, I'm reverting, Kenny they've reverted me!"

"Reverted you?"

"I was so happy in a good way these past few weeks but now I'm starting to feel it in an awful way, like I'm getting images and ideas in my head of things I could do for revenge and it feels like it's okay to do so but it's not Kenny, it's not okay to want to murder your friends even if they just did that to me, you gotta help me!" Tears began flooding down Cartman's face once more and he sounded concerned and mildly confused

Kenny just sighed again "I'll help you."

"Y-you w-will?!" Cartman said with a sort of gleam in his eyes

"Yes... But it's late why don't you sleep here tonight and we'll sort out a plan tomorrow after school."


	2. Chapter 2

Cartman and Kenny arrived at the school a bit late after missing the bus, Cartman was up most of the night and Kenny was woke up multiple times by Cartman coming to his room for comfort, it was rather annoying to Kenny but he isn't the type of guy who'd just ignore a cry for help no matter how much he hated Cartman for all the years of insults and bullying he did to him and his friends.

Cartman didn't stop crying till they reached the school grounds as soon as they entered it was like his emotions were turned off his tears vanished and his expression was blank and unreadable he was extremely silent and they went their separate ways to their lockers.

* * *

After school while Kenny was getting ready to head home his girlfriend came up to him with a massive group of girls around her heading towards the other male students she handed him a letter and he opened it to read it, it was a harshly written break-up letter.

Kenny looked back up from the piece of paper and she had vanished, all the girls flooding the hallways, gone. his heart felt crushed and he collapsed onto his back exhaling sheepishly, muffled sobbing he couldn't think very straight, what the fuck is going on why did his girlfriend break up with him, it's gotta be Skankhunt's fault, it really wasn't Cartman he was with him all night without any wi-fi.

Suddenly he heard footsteps, it was Wendy she handed Stan a note and then vanished as well, Stan fell to his knees crying out tears saddened by the sudden break-up, this wasn't the first time Stan and Wendy broke up but with how Kenny is feeling he knows Stan is in serious pain of the loss of his girlfriend.

Cartman comes walking down the hallway and kneels next to Kenny reaching a hand out "So we're doing this now right?"  
Kenny wipes his tears and grabs hold of Cartman's hand and is pulled to his feet they both quietly walk out of the school, they decide to go to Cartman's house after a brief stop at Kenny's home.

Kenny walks at Cartman's side with a rolled up dark purpleish cloth in arms and a determined expression though partly shrouded by the hood of his orange parka.

"We're gonna find Skankhunt42 Cartman and I'm gonna be the first in line to kick his ass."

"Sounds good to me Kenny as long as I still get to kick his ass after you."

The duo headed into Cartman's house and down to the basement, Kenny changed into his Mysterion costume and Eric went through some boxes and pulled out his Coon outfit shoving it on and going through a drawer slipping his claw knives onto his fingers.

"We don't got time to waste Mysterion! We'll begin our search tonight" The Coon shouted in his scratchy voice

* * *

"Stan are you going to be okay?" Kyle said concerned for his best friend

"Y-yeah, it's not like this is the first time we've broken up but it still stings a whole lot."

"I still can't believe the troll really wasn't Cartman..." Kyle looked towards the ground defeated

"We messed up big time Kyle, and we failed so badly that there's not a single girl from our school left on twitter."

"I doubt the girls will be coming back to school for at least a week, I'm surprised Cartman even showed up after what we did to him."Kyle said with sympathy in his voice

"I actually feel kinda bad now, that we did that to him, think he's still pissed at as?"

"Definitely." Kyle said with a serious face

"So... What now?"

"I'm not sure Stan, I'm just not sure anymore... This whole thing has got me all twisted up inside."

"Same here dude."

"As much as I hate to even say this, we should apologize to him next time we see him."

"Even if he's extremely pissed off at us?"

"Even if he's pissed." Kyle said lowering his head back down and putting his hands into his pockets.

They said their goodbyes and went to their own homes for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Mysterion leaped across roof tops in the dead of night, The Coon was behind him trying to keep up having trouble successfully making it over to each building there were a few times where Mysterion had to help him so he wouldn't fall off some of the homes.

"Damn you're just as heavy as I thought you'd be"

"Shut up Kenny, any suspicious activity in this house?"

"None that I see, we might actually have to enter some homes to find our culprit."

"That would be a breach of safe space Mysterion."

"I didn't know Coon was PC." Mysterion said with a smirk

"He's not, I'll enter this house right now through a window if that's what we're about to do."

"Well from what I saw the residents of this home are most likely innocent civilians but we shouldn't cross them off the list just yet. Let's go check the next few houses before we enter any 'safe spaces'"

Mysterion then leaped off onto the ground and headed down the street through the darkness to the next closest house,  
Coon followed, though nearly slipping off the roof they were just talking atop of before dropping himself onto the ground.

"Fucking icy roofs, how does Kenny always manage to do this so easily" Coon said aloud to himself

They checked multiple homes around their neighborhood and made a list of suspicious homes and people before back tracking and silently breaking into previous homes that they hadn't marked suspicious just to ease their minds.

They didn't find Skankhunt that night but they do have a hefty list for narrowing down suspects, they both eventually went home when they noticed the sun starting to rise since it was still a weekday and they have school in a few hours.

* * *

Kenny went to get Cartman when he didn't see him at the bus stop, Stan and Kyle were deep in thought so Kenny didn't bother telling them where he was going, when he knocked on the door Mrs. Cartman answered.

"Hi is Cartman awake?" Kenny asked the woman

"Yes... But, he's very upset right now, he said he isn't going to school today." She said concerned

"May I talk to him?"

"Sure come right on in, Eric your friend Kenny is here!" She shouted "He's in the kitchen."

"Okay thanks."

Kenny entered the kitchen to see Cartman sitting on the floor next to the fridge with his cat rubbing up against him, he was sobbing while shoving food into his mouth.

"Cartman you can't just skip school just cause you're upset with everyone."

"I just don't want to go today, you should go before you're late again Kenny."

Kenny sighs before walking over and sitting next to Cartman

"Eric..."

"Kenny, we're not going to find him!" Cartman cried out cupping his hands against his own face "He could be anyone in this stupid fucking red neck town and I can't take it anymore!" Cartman retorted in Kenny's direction before laying his head against his knees tucked into his arms

"We'll find him Eric just calm the down." Kenny said sympathetically

"No we won't! Everyone hates me and while every guy at school knows I'm not Skankhunt, half the town probably is assuming it's me right now!" Cartman shouted angrily

"Oh..." Kenny thought for a moment "Cartman stop thinking negative thoughts and get off your fat ass, we don't have time for you to be pouting, you said it yourself there is no time to waste. You shouldn't waste the time we do have standing around crying over trivial things, I'm skipping school today let's get back to work." Kenny stood up and reached a hand out to the sobbing child

Cartman looked up at him and after a moment of staring he took Kenny's hand and raised himself off the floor while cracking a smile.

His cat continued to rub against him and began meowing

"Get the fuck away from me kitty I'm fine now!" Cartman grumbled towards the cat which ignored him meowing louder "That's a very bad kitty!" Cartman shouted before chasing the cat out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Stan and Kyle were walking home together once again, school had just ended, school felt quite empty without a single girl wandering the halls, there was so many empty seats during class and lunch even their female foreign teacher was absent and they had a male sub who barley understood what they were even teaching Stan could swear the sub was their current bus driver who never speaks or shouts when people misbehave every morning on the way to school, Stan and Kyle agreed that they both miss Ms. Crabtree and Mr. Garrison even if they had hated them deeply back when they were here.

"Cartman wasn't in school today."

"I noticed that to..."

"Are we still going to apologize to him today?" Stan asked

"Yeah... I'm going to head to his house after I drop my school bag off at home." Kyle said with a saddened expression

"Guess I'll do the same."

After dropping their stuff at home they headed towards Cartman's house upon knocking on the door his mother opened the door

"Well hello Stan, Kyle." She greeted

"Is Cartman home?" Stan asked, Kyle was quiet and lost in thought

"Yes but he doesn't want anyone else over, just him and Kenny today."

"K-kenny's here?" Kyle asked looking up at Mrs. Cartman

"Why yes he's been here all day keeping Eric company."

"I know he said he doesn't want anyone over today but could we talk with him just real quick we want to apologize to him for the other day." Stan pleaded

"Oh so that's why he's been so down recently, what happened?"

"He... He hasn't told you?" Kyle asked shocked

"Not single thing, he hasn't seemed like himself these past couple of days, though then again he has been different since the town has changed..."  
"Here come inside, he really could use the help of all his friends right now."

"Thanks mam." Stan replied walking inside with Kyle by his side

"They were playing in the basement earlier, so that is probably where you'll find Eric." Mrs Cartman said before heading into the kitchen

The two boys head down into the basement and were shocked when they saw Kenny dressed in his Mysterion attire going through a list of pages and writing down notes on a chalkboard, there was dozens of waded up paper balls on the floor but no sign of Cartman.

"Kenny, what's going on?" Stan and Kyle asked simultaneously

Mysterion looked up from the stack of papers he was holding

"Oh hey guys, what are you doing here?"

"We should be the ones asking you that, why weren't you in school this morning" Stan asked the masked hero

"I didn't expect anyone to notice my absence, I've been helping Cartman."

"With what?" Asked Kyle

"That's a bit classified, I would ask of your help but I promised Cartman that I wouldn't tell anyone what we're up to"

"That's The Coon Kenny!" Shouted a fat kid dressed like a raccoon "Why are we even dressed up if you're going to keep calling me Cartman in front of people!"

"Sorry Coon." Mysterion replied though obviously not caring.

Coon looks over to Stan and Kyle as he heads down the stairs into the basement he pauses staring at the duo which was quite awkward for them "The fuck are you guys doing in my house, get the hell out of my basement!" Coon shouted angrily

Kyle flinched

"Cartman we're here to apologize." Stan stated

"Apologize? Apologize! You accuse me of shit I didn't do then lure me out to the middle of no where with a lie and then you all brake my only connections to the internet and bury it all 3ft under the ground!"  
"Hell it's been 3 whole days since then and NOW you decide to say you're sorry? Fuck that! Get outta my house assholes!" Coon continued shouting no doubted extremely pissed off that his entire face was becoming red.

"Cartman calm down!" Mysterion shouted laying his stack of noted onto the floor and walking over to the angry child

"No, they made me feel like dog shit, walked all over me and now they're here acting like it was nothing!"

"Cartman we really are sorry for what we did to you, we were in the wrong and we just want to make amends for what we did in the woods that day." Kyle explained heartily

Cartman just started cursing loudly while shutting his eyes tightly, no one knew who he was shouting at anymore a small bit of electricity spewed out of him a few times before he finally calmed his shit and he looked over to Kyle and took a large sigh

"As much as I want to ring your neck with my claws and tare your insides out, Mysterion is right, we do need more help on our mission." Coon stated in a pitiful voice

Stan and Kyle just stared at him in a daze

Coon sighed again "So are you going to help us or just stand around all day looking like complete morons?"

"Um..." Stan started

"W-whats the mission?" Kyle chocked out

Coon just slapped himself in the face before replying

"Isn't it obvious, we're on a hunt for Skankhunt." Coon smirked.


	5. Chapter 5

Coon sits at a nearly empty table he set up down in his basement the Coon and friends logo hanging out on the wall behind him. next to him was Mysterion and a ways down was Timmy, all 3 we're waiting on Stan and Kyle to return the duo went out to get their superhero outfits at home and were taking a long time to return it was already past 6 in the evening they be bee gone for two straight hours and their houses are only a few down from here.

"Where the hell are those guys, what's taking them so long!" Coon grumbled out loud "And why the hell aren't you in costume Timmy?" Coon asked the handicapped child

"Timmy!"

"If it's that hard to get on by yourself then why don't you just make an easier costume?"

"Ooh livin' a lie" Timmy replied

"No, I was just saying..."

"Timmahh!"

"What the fuck did you just say?!" Coon attempted to leap towards Timmy and Mysterion grabbed his arm

"Coon we don't have time for another one of your outbursts now sit back down."

"But- he-" Coon couldn't get a full sentence out and just growled and sat back into his chair "Tell that to Stan and Kyle." He grunted

Suddenly his basement door opened and the two mentioned boys came down the stairs

"Ah, Toolshed, Humankite you sure took you time we were just..."

Behind them was the rest of Coon and friends along with Craig,Jimmy,Butters and Tweek

"The fuck!"

"Cartman stay calm" Kyle said

"No! Why is the rest of the gang of butthole murderers here!" Coon sneered

"Ha! You look like a fag in that get up." Craig stated causing giggles to come from Clyde, Tweek and Jimmy

"I'll do to you, the same you did to my iPad Fucker!"

Kyle just face palmed

"Cartman chill they came cause they also wanted to say they were sorry for the whole Counterstrike incident, Craig that wasn't very cool, what you said about his costume." Stan said

"Incident? That entire game night was staged it was obviously planned beforehand you're all a bunch of cocksuckers!"

"We really are sorry about it though." Said Clyde "Yeah, sorry for calling you a fag though you totally fit the bill." Craig smirked as the fat kid just growled some more

"Could ya ever forgive us Eric?" Butters asked

"I brought everyone here to make the search go by faster I know how much you want to find him Cartman."

Cartman just sighs and doesn't say another word but is still unhappy that everyone who had gang raped his internet devices were all in one room and knew he shouldn't bother with it until the main objective was dealt with.

"What are you guys going to do about costumes?"

"C-costumes?" Said Tweek

"I ain't wearing no faggy costume guys."

"Then go home Craig no one cares." Coon replied back

"I-i'll do it." Tweek said

Craig looked over in Tweek's direction "what? You can't be serious."

"I am."  
"What kind of costume should I make?" Tweek asked The Coon while starting to twitch

"Anything you can scrounge up coffee boy."

"Wait... Uh, Tweek I'll help you."

"You w-will?"

"Yeah, I guess I'll dress up as well." Craig spoke heartily to Tweek

"Aww how cute, doesn't it just warm your heart you guys!" Coon said looking at everyone smiling

Craig just frowned and flipped him off before heading back up the stairs with Jimmy and Tweek.

"Okay so while those losers go to play dress up we should start going over the notes I wrote on the chalkboard."

Mysterion coughed

"Sorry, what Mysterion wrote down for me."

Toolshed raised his hand

"Yes, Toolshed?"

"Why don't we each cover a side of the neighborhood, that way the search will be more wide spread."

"Yes, I was just getting to that, we each write down the streets we're going to check, Toolshed you should start over by Rasins."

"Raisins?"

"The culprit is all about skanks Stan."

"Right..."

* * *

"We're back." Said Craig coming back down into the basement

"Craig that isn't much of a costume." Coon said as he looked at the boy that had a page of paper with a scribbled red S taped onto his normal attire.

Craig just ignored him gesturing to Tweek to come down the stairs

"C-c-com-come on Tw-Tweek" stuttered Jimmy from up the stairs trying to get down the stairs

"N-no way man this is way to much pressure!" Tweek proclaimed

"Tweek just come down." Craig said to the shaking blonde

"O-okay, sorry about that Super Craig."

"It's no problem at all dude." Craig smiled as Tweek made it down the stairs standing to his side with Jimmy following behind Everyone just stared at both Tweek and Craig processing their costumes.  
Tweek wore clothes similar to Craig's with a pair of gloves and a headband over his forehead that read 'Wonder Tweek'

Coon then let out an "Oh, my, god." Before smiling once again "This has got to be the cutest thing in the history of ever."

Craig once again flipped him off before pulling Tweek's arm and leading him to a chair at the table looking pissed off by Coon's remark

"So... The Flash Jimmy?" Mysterion looked towards the cripple

"Th-thh-that's Fa-Fu-Fast P-P-Pass Mysterion." He replied

"That's gay." Coon stated

"Cartman shut up." Humankite said while rolling his eyes

* * *

"Alright now that all the introductions are in order, everyone's in costume..."

"Timmy!"

"No problem dude." Toolshed smiled

"And we've decided the routes we're going to take tonight... Coon Friends GO!" The Coon shouted pointing towards nothing in particular and all the kids swarmed out of the basement, the house and out to the streets of the night, they had called their families earlier that same day saying they were staying at each others houses for the night so they wouldn't be grounded for staying out late past their bedtimes.


	6. Chapter 6

"This is Mosquito and Super Craig reporting in."

"Good, find anything over there?" Asked The Coon

"No, just a bunch of grown men sleeping." Super Craig replied

"You're positive you checked inside every house?"

"Pozzzitive." Said Mosquito

"Well go to the next area marked on your lists, don't call again unless you find something worth noting."

"Roger!" The duo shouted and hung up

Coon then pocketed the object he was just talking on

"Butters your phone freaking sucks."

"Y-yeah sorry about that, it's an older model."

"So why are you dressed up in your paladin outfit?" Coon asked

"Well I couldn't just help you as Professor Chaos, I'm a villain not a hero."  
"So this was my next closest choice." Butters said looking at the ground walking beside The Coon

Coon just shrugged and continued walking

"If we do end up finding Skankhunt42, well... We would probably be praised and I don't want Professor Chaos being mistaken as a good guy it would ruin the image I set for him."

"Butters I don't think it'd matter, there has been countless times where a villain helped the hero in comic books before continuing their evil plans."

"There has?"

"Yeah like the time Lex Luther and Superman teamed up."

"S-superman and Lex Luther teamed up?"

"Oh look we've arrived at our next destination." Coon pointed

"But this is Stan's house?" Butters looked towards the home then to Coon quite confused

"We're checking everywhere Butters, including our own homes."

Coon then waked up to the front door and turned the doorknob it opened right away the door had been left unlocked

"Perfect." Said Coon looking inside and then gesturing to Butters to come into the house

"I don't know about this Eric, won't Stan be pretty sore at us for breaking into his house while he's out?"

"It was unlocked we're not breaking in, we're just here on recon don't be such a pussy." Coon navigated through the living room stopping momentarily after seeing a paper laying on a coffee table, it was Stan's homework and Coon took an eraser and changed an answer Stan had written down for a math equation and writing 69 in it's place before giggling and heading towards the stairs Butters just watched unamused at the other kid's antics and fixing said homework

"Butters you're no fun, now hurry up and get your ass up here." Coon headed up to the next floor of the house before stopping after hearing some disturbing noises

"Sounds like someone's in pain!" Butters exclaimed

"Shh, Butters they'll hear you." Coon crept slowly towards the room where the noise was coming from and slowly opened the door

"What do you see?" Butters asked

Coon continued to stare into the room speechless before closing the door and walking down the hall towards the bathroom

"Er-eric...?" Butters stuttered while following suit.

"I did not need to witness that." Coon went into the bathroom

"What did you see?" Butters asked again confused and concerned while walking into the bathroom before being pushed out by The Coon as he shut the door Butters just stood there until Coon came back out minutes later.

"Uh, Stan's dad just went into another room" Butters didn't bother to ask once more what Coon saw in the other room

"Well uh, leave no stone unturned." Coon said before walking over to the room Stan's dad now occupies, the annoying sound of Windows starting up echoed into the hallway

"That sounds like Windows XP!" Butters shouted

"That system is so outdated." Coon rolled his eyes before pushing the door slightly, Randy had left the door a crack open

"What are you going to do, we can't see what he's doing online from over here." Butters whispered

"We ambush him." Coon whispered back

"Wait what?" Before Butters could do anything The Coon charged the man onto the floor and pulled out a rope tying Randy's hands together

"What the hell, what do you think you're doing kid!" Randy shouted to the fat masked hero

"Paladin Butters what's on the computer?"

"Nothing it just finished loading in the desktop."  
"His computer history seems to be erased, there's nothing to show what he has done over the past couple of weeks, though there is a porn website bookmarked."

"What sites have you visited this past week?" Coon harshly asked the civilian

"None of your damn business now get the fuck off and untie me!"

"Are you, or are you not Skankhunt42?"

"No!"

"I think he's telling the truth Coon, it says the last time he logged onto this PC was 3 months ago."

Coon then hopped off Randy

"Good work, onto Kyle's house next." Coon and Butters began to leave the room

"Hey you forgot to untie me." Said Randy

Butters walked over and began to untie the man but stopped when he started talking once more

"Just so you know, I'm calling the cops."

"Go head, we'll be long gone before they get here." Said Coon

"Isn't that blonde kid Butters Stotch?" Randy said looking over to the blonde

"Oh hamburgers!" Butters shouted and ran out of the room

"Fucking shit man." Coon mumbled before taking a cell phone out of his pocket

"Hello?" Answered Tupperware

"Tupperware, call Mosquito and Super Craig I'm going to need the 3 of you to help me with an issue Butters just created."

"Okay but where are you at?"

"Oh, um... Stan's house, don't worry about sneaking in the front door is unlocked."

There was a long pause

"We'll be there soon." Tupperware then hung up and Coon re pocketed Butter's cell phone

"Hey kid are you going to let me go or are you just gonna stare at me in my underwear all day?" Randy asked

Coon just face palmed and threw a nearby towel over the man before revealing a roll of tape and taping Randy's mouth which pissed the guy off more


	7. Chapter 7

"Coon tell us again, why did you have us kidnap Stan's dad?" Craig asked

"We can't risk anyone getting grounded tonight." Replied Coon

"Then why did you break into Stan's house?" -Tupperware

"We didn't break in, the door was left unlocked so we went inside." Coon stated

"That's dumb." Craig headed toward the stairs

"Where the hell are you going Craig?" Coon watched him head up the stairs

"To get some popcorn for when Stan shows up, you guys want some?" Craig called from top of the stairway

"Sure! Zzz" Mosquito shouted back

Coon just made an irritated expression before looking over to his new prisoner behind metal bars, removing the tape from the man's mouth

"Ow, damn it that stings..." He mumbled

"I don't like locking up an innocent citizen such as yourself but it had to be done."

Randy just rolls his eyes and scoffs "Just let me out of here."

"I am afraid I can not do that till after we've located and dealt with a certain troll first." Coon replied now untying the ropes from Randy's wrists and backing up from the jail cell.

* * *

The basement door opened, Craig came back down the stairs with some popcorn along with Humankite and Wonder Tweek behind him.

The second Kyle got down the stairs he noticed his best friend's father imprisoned in the box

"Cartman... Why in the fuck is Stan's dad in there?" He asked quite agitated

"He caught Butters while they were both inside of Stan's house." Craig stated before sitting on the floor next to Clyde

"Why were you in Stan's house!" Humankite shouted obviously pissed at Coon

"Leave no stone unturned Kyle, Skankhunt could be anyone."

Craig and Clyde were just watching the confrontation while eating from a bowl of popcorn, Kyle was about to continue the argument but Butters phone went off and Cartman answered it ignoring the sizzling Jew

"Yes?" Asked Coon

"Uh, yeah I got finished with the list you gave me." Answered Toolshed

"Did you check out Raisins?"

"Yeah, it was closed when I went earlier so I waited and went to the other marked locations and when I got back I found out something not very shocking at all."

"And what's that?"

"Well turns out most, if not all, of the Raisins are girls who go to our school and they had to shut down because of a boycott."

"Hmm, that really is unfortunate, thanks for the information Toolshed, circle around and get back here soon."

"Does that mean everyone's already back at base?" Toolshed asked but before Coon could reply Kyle snatched the phone out of his hand

Kyle spoke into it "Stan get back here right away, you're not going to believe what fatass has done this time."

"I highly doubt that, I'll be there in a few minutes." Toolshed then hung up and headed towards the residence of The Coon lair

* * *

Toolshed stood pinching the bridge of his nose, he had arrived back at base to witness his father locked up in jail with Humankite and Coon yelling at each other.  
"Cartman, why is my dad in jail...?"  
"Is he Skankhunt?"

"No, he's not but there is an explanation for this." Coon started but Toolshed just raised his hand stopping him.

"Hey those are my missing power tools!" Randy said looking over at Toolshed "So you're the one always taking them!"

Stan just pinched the bridge of his nose again "It's me dad, it's Stan." The young hero taking off his safety glasses

"Sta-stan? Oh wow, my son's a superhero!" Randy shouted happily Stan just looked at him unamused by his comment.

"Hold on dad, I'll have you out in a minute." Stan said placing his glasses onto a nearby table and attempting to unlock the cell to let his dad out

"No, Stan you can't do that, if you let him out he'll tell everyone what we're up to and we'll be grounded!" Coon shouted pushing Stan away from the cell.

"Then you shouldn't of kidnapped my dad." Stan said angrily

"You don't have to worry about me telling anyone I wouldn't want to give up my own son's secret identity." Randy proclaimed

"Ugh..." Stan was now face palming Kyle took a key from near the jail cell "It's okay Mr Marsh, we're done playing." Humankite said letting the man out, Coon just stood silent looking at the basement floor

"What's his deal?" Randy asked

"He's just being himself." Said Humankite before walking away "Come on guys let's go home, we'll find Skankhunt ourselves in the morning."

Everyone but Butters followed Kyle out of the basement

"Are you going to be okay Eric?" He asked concerned

Coon just closed his eyes and sighed, butters then looked down at the floor before he walked over to Coon and then patted him on the shoulder a few times before heading out with the others.

* * *

A few hours later Mysterion showed up he went into the basement that was now dark, he heard noise from down the stairway and turned on the light before heading down, he looked around the room it was empty with popcorn kernels scattered in places and a pair of safety glasses laying on the table, he then heard the noise again and saw a mask less Coon sobbing in a corner Mysterion then rolled his eyes before heading over to him.

"Cartman where is everyone?" Mysterion asked, once again sitting by his side.

"K-kinny?" Cartman looked up and then over to the cloaked hero "Where were you?"

"Dead." Mysterion stated in a serious tone.

"I fucked up." Cartman said lowering his head back down Mysterion sighing again "What did you do this time Cartman."

"Stuff." Cartman muffled back

"You want to talk about it?"

"Nah." Cartman then stood up grabbing a half empty bowl of popcorn located by the stairs raising it off the floor and went over turning on a TV laying the bowl onto the table and tossing a pair of safety glasses into a nearby bucket before sitting down changing the channel to Terrence and Phillip. Mysterion moved a chair and took a seat eating some of the popcorn before Cartman pulled the bowl out of the hero's reach and started shoving handfuls into his mouth laughing at the Canadian duo on the television.

* * *

Cartman finished the bowl and was just laying his head against the table still laughing at reruns of Terrence and Phillip, Mysterion had grown bored and wasn't really paying much attention to the TV anymore and was starting to fall asleep in his seat It was extremely late in the night and the sun would be coming up in a couple of hours, when suddenly the news interrupted the TV station, it was about Skankhunt's recent attacks on Denmark and both Cartman and Mysterious snapped out of their daze and turned the volume up to listen to said broadcast.

"Breaking news here Tom, according to recent reports Denmark has just fallen pray to a massive cyber attack initiated by Skankhunt42."

"Wow has it really got that bad from just a single internet troll Niles?"

"Not just one Tom, it seems that Skankhunt42 has gotten a cult following and now countless of trolls are flooding the Denmark message board servers."

"My, god..." Coon quietly said staring at the TV

"That sounds pretty brutal, and very news worthy." The newsmen continued

"We'll continue to keep everyone updated soon as more information comes in about the current floodings."

* * *

Craig was sleeping soundly before being rudely awakened by an extremely loud siren coming from his living room, he made his way out of his bed and room concern on his face he entered the room to see both his parents awake and staring upwards, near the ceiling was a box with microphones attached, it had the Coon & friends logo written on it "Coon and friends alert! Coon and friends alert! I mean seriously you guys alert, I mean seriously." This caused Craig to curse under his breath he then headed back to his room after witnessing his father tear the box down and shutting it up by ripping it in half, Craig pulled a waded up paper ball from his trash can smoothing it's surface out and attaching it to his shirt with some scotch tape before exiting out his window.

* * *

Stan had finally got to sleep, his dad had kept him awake the past couple of hours after they got home asking what it's like to be a superhero, when suddenly the Coon & Friends alarm sounded throughout the house "God damn it." Stan got out of bed trying to steady himself from the fatigue he was telling and walking down to the living room sneaking past his parents who were just staring up at said alarm with hands covering their ears

"I thought you got rid of that thing!" Stan's mom shouted over the loudspeaker

"I did, I don't know how it got back up there Sharon!" Randy shouted back

"Well take it back down!"

"I can't!"

"Why's that?"

"Cause my tools are probably gone by now." Randy said though not loud enough for the woman to hear properly

Stan just rolled his eyes and went out into the garage to grab his tools noticing that he had left his safety glasses over at Cartman's earlier that night, he opened the garage door and headed down the street.

* * *

"Cartman it's 4 in the morning... Could you please stop setting up alarms in our houses and making them go off at late hours." Kyle pleaded as Toolshed entered the room

"Hey Cartman do you know where my glasses are?" Stan asked

The basement slammed open and the rest of Coon & Friends came down into the basement

"Hey asshole what's with you putting a loudspeaker in my house!" Craig shouted angrily to Coon

"You scared the crap out of me man!" Tweek retorted in his direction

"Y-y-yeah!" Jimmy stuttered

"Oh good the rest of Coon and friends are here now." Coon said looking at the group of the young but angry and sleep deprived superheroes

"Why did you call us back here?" Tupperware asked tiredly

Coon then turned the TV to channel 4 "Take a look for yourselves"

The group listened as the news reporters talked about a flooding online aimed at the city of Denmark and a bunch of outraged females talking to one of the news reporters, complaining about the horrible things Skankhunt has just posted online onto multiple message boards and news posts.

"Tom it now appears that Skankhunt42 has expanded his terror to the sites Reddit and YouTube, it appears that no site is longer safe from his trolling." Niles continued to talk but the boys began to block it out

"So what, we're still pissed at you." Craig stated and both Kyle and Tweek nodded Stan was looking around the room for his missing glasses

"If you really feel that way then why did you come?" Coon asked and the kids just looked at each other and then back to Coon

"Cause you woke us up with your damn alarm zzz!" Clyde said irritated

"I'm going home." Token said before heading up the stairs and most of the other kids followed suit

"Y-you guys! Don't leave, I haven't even got to tell you my plan yet." Coon pleaded

"You coming Stan?" Kyle asked

"Yeah just give me a minute." Stan replied "Kenny do you know where Cartman might of put my glasses?"

"Yeah, they're in that bucket over there." Mysterion pointed Stan grew more agitated pulling the glasses out and leaving the basement slamming the door.

Coon just stood staring at the closed door from the bottom of the stairs and Mysterion stayed silent for a bit

"Damn Cartman what happened in the few hours I was gone?" Mysterion asked but Coon ignored his question once more.

"Just you and me again." Coon said walking over to his chalkboard and writing a few addresses onto the surface.  
"These are the rest of the residents that has yet to be checked."

"Most of these belong to the others." Mysterion began to memorize what was written

"Exactly, they're the only ones left." Coon stated sitting into his chair and resting his eyes.

"They're going to very pissed." Mysterion said now also sitting in his own chair

"They already are." Coon laid his legs up onto the table and leaned his chair back


	8. Chapter 8

Kyle had returned home and went up to his room to take his hero costume back off, he wasn't sure why he even put it on in the first place since he had only went over to Cartman's house to complain for being woken up, maybe just maybe he wanted to give him another chance to speak after what he did to the guy days prior, but Kyle wasn't really sure how he really felt about the entire situation, Cartman had deserved what he had coming from all the years of abuse he gave to everyone around him, but to find out you punished someone for a wrong they didn't commit really eats into the subconsciousness.

Kyle walked out of his room deciding he was going to take a shower, on his way to the bathroom he noticed the light in his father's study was still on and the sound of clicking keys, he went over to the door but before he could decide wether he wanted to knock or open it, the lights inside went off and he backed up as the door opened.

"Kyle?" Gerald asked looking down to his son

"Oh, h-hey dad..."

"I thought you were in bed, what are you doing up at this late of an hour, or is it already morning?" The man asked

"It's 5. I had trouble sleeping, I was going to take a quick shower, if that's alright." Kyle answered back

"Of course son, be careful not to slip, I'm going to go lay down." Gerald said beginning to walk away before being stopped by Kyle

"Hey dad..."

"Yes Kyle?"

"What about you, what were you doing, I mean, why are you up this early?" The child asked concern in his voice

"Just paying some overdue bills your mother and I missed when we were going through our junk mail a few days ago." Gerald smiled and then walked to his and Sheila's bedroom, Kyle just stood lost in thought for a moment before shaking his head and heading to the shower.

* * *

Stan had came in through the front door of his house worn out and didn't bother to put his father's tools back into the garage and tossing them into a pile onto the coffee table along with the safety glasses before heading up stairs to change clothes but as he got up the stairs he noticed the light to his room was on

"Oh geez, not this again." Stan mumbled tiredly before opening the door to his room and quietly shutting it so he wouldn't wake his mother or sister.

"How did the fight go?" Randy asked excitedly, sitting on the edge of Stan's bed

"There was no fight dad, we just went over there to complain to Cartman and then I grabbed your safety glasses and came back home." Stan stated dryly while face palming

"Well that's boring..." The man pouted "Can I be your side kick!?"  
"I can help you fight crime and take down some bad guys!" He proclaimed

"No, no..." Stan was becoming more annoyed by his father's childish behavior

"Oh, come on please!? We can redesign the car and everything!" Said Randy

"No dad, can I please sleep now, I need to sleep." Stan stated

"Oh, fine!" Randy stood up from the bed and walked over to open the bedroom door "Can I at least help you find Skankhunt42?" Randy asked before leaving the room

"Fine, sure, whatever" Stan said not really paying attention to his father anymore and laying down into his bed and closing his eyes still in his costume

"Yes!" Randy said raising a fist and then shutting the door to let his son sleep

* * *

Craig returned home with Tweek in tow he didn't bother climbing back in through the window he left out of, instead he knocked on his locked front door and his father answered

"Craig what the hell are you doing outside this time of day and why do you have a piece of paper taped to your chest Thomas asked his son, Craig and Tweek were still in-costume

"I was hanging out with the guys and Tweek." Craig said back, his father had just noticed that Tweek was standing behind his son He then looked him over before looking back to Craig and making a concerned face

"Are you two cosplaying as Superman and Wonder Woman?" The man asked and then received a middle finger directed at him from his son

"Can you let us in now, I want to sleep." Craig stated

"I thought we were going to play Assassin's Creed again today?" Tweek said confused, Craig looked over to the blonde

"I changed my mind, I want to sleep."

"Then why the hell did you bring me all the way here?" Tweek asked starting to twitch Craig smiled and didn't say a word Thomas was to drowsy to continue listening to his son and his son's boyfriend and let the two of them inside before shutting the door back and returning to his room

"Want to watch Netflix Tweek?" Craig asked the now shaking boy

"I thought you were going to bed?" Tweek asked even more confused

"Nah, I just didn't want my dad to get the wrong idea." Craig said turning his game console on and loading up Netflix Tweek then stopped his shaking and went to sit next to his friend Craig on the couch

"Is this show alright?"

"Yeah it's fine." Tweek said

"Let me go make some coffee" Craig smiled leaving the room, he came back a while later with two cups and sat back down next to the blonde "Here dude." Craig handed him one of the cups of coffee

"Thanks Craig" Tweek smiled back after taking the cup from Craig's hand and taking a sip

"Don't mention it." Craig said starting the show displayed on his TV and taking a sip of out of his own cup of coffee before cringing

"You alright?" Tweek asked looking over to Craig

"Yeah, I just don't understand how you can stomach this stuff, it tastes awful." Craig stated before taking another sip "At least this brand doesn't taste like raw sewage."

Tweek looked irritated and Craig just smiled once more and turned up the volume to his television.

* * *

A day has passed and Cartman is still figuring out his plan of action for when he breaks into his friends homes, Kenny was laying asleep on the couch of Cartman's living room and Cartman decided to leave him there and go over to the bus stop to wait for the school bus for the first time in days, Stan and Kyle didn't say a word but kept glancing over to him until the bus arrived.

Halfway during class Kenny showed up and took a seat at his desk asking Cartman why he didn't wake him up but got no comment from him, during lunch they were both sitting at their normal table with Stan and Kyle, all of the girls appeared to be skipping once again and eventually both Kyle and Stan got up to sit and talk with Clyde, Token and Jimmy.  
Moments later Butters came running into the cafeteria shouting

"Fellas', fellas'!"

"What's wrong Butters?" Stan asked concerned

"Tweek and Craig..." Butters let out while panting heavily "Tweek and Craig, they're breaking up again!" Butters shouted

"What." Kyle said confused and just as concerned as Stan

"They-they're in the hallway yelling at each other." Butters stated still out of breath

Suddenly all of the kids in the cafeteria swarmed out in a large group to the location of Tweek and Craig

"Tweek just calm down!" Craig shouted

"Calm down? Calm down!?" Tweek shouted back shaking rapidly "You said everything would be okay, but it's not Craig, it's not okay!"

"What's going on?" Kyle asked looking over to Kevin Stoley who was already there when they arrived

"Skankhunt, apparently he and some other trolls said some things online about Craig and Tweek's relationship." Kevin replied

"3 hours, the messages about us are still going after 3 hours Craig, I can't take it, gah!" Tweek flinched

"It's just words Tweek, don't let the trolls get to you." Craig tried to reason but Tweek looked away

"I can't stand this Craig, we pretend to be something we're not to make others happy but then get hate for it." Tweek said now looking at the floor upset

Craig walks over to Tweek and reaches around him with his arms before resisting a bit and then hugging him

Nearly everyone stood confused while Butters was smiling and Cartman had a huge grin on his face

"We should take a break from this, just until the issue at hand is resolved." Craig said to Tweek

"You sure?" Tweek asked staring up at Craig

"Yeah." Craig smiled letting Tweek go and the two of them walked away in different directions

"Does this mean you're not together anymore?" Butters asked saddened

"Yup." Craig replied as he continued walking before turning around to the sound of Tweek shouting

"Hey Craig!"

Tweek stood down the opposite side of the hall facing Craig's direction and smiling, he raised a hand and then flipped Craig off, Craig returned the gesture by flipping him off as well.


	9. Chapter 9

Earlier today I wrote the next chapter to this story, though after an issue with my tablet said chapter wasn't properly saved and I'll have to rewrite it. That being said I'd like to pause for a bit longer and decide where exactly I'm taking this story, I never expected this to get so many views and I want to thank those of you who had followed and favorited this story, as well as thank both GE PIP SP and RandomWriter197 for their reviews, I really appreciate it, thanks so much everyone.

* * *

 **I'm back guys! ~GhostlyEscapde**

* * *

"Something must be done about Skankhunt42 soon!"  
"Not next week, now!" Coon slammed a fist onto the table

"Just look at the damage he has caused this time." Coon said pointing over to Craig and Tweek who were on their phones Craig was sending Tweek some pics and memes of ginnie pigs causing a few laughs to come from the both of them

"They look alright to me?" Clyde said

"They're in denial, just look at them." Coon stated

"I don't see it." Clyde said

"Me neither." Token agreed

"Trust me they're both grieving on the inside." Coon said Craig then flipped Coon off while continuing to stare at his phone.

"See?"

"Not really..." Said Token

"Well,what did you all feel when your girlfriends all left?" Coon asked Token and Clyde pondered at the question

"He's got a point." Clyde stated "But what are we gonna do, we don't even know who Skankhunt is and we've been searching for days." Clyde mentioned

"We lure him out of hiding." Mysterion said

"How?" Craig asked looking up from his phone before powering it off

"Hey guys." Toolshed greeted as he entered the basement and headed down the stairs Only he,Cartman and Kenny were in costume, the other kids didn't seem to bother with dressing up this time.

"Why is your dad with you?" Clyde asked looking up at the man

"I didn't even want to come here but my dad asked me to bring him..."  
"I sorta told him the other day that he could play with us."

"Why?" Coon asked receiving a shrug from Toolshed "And you didn't bother to mention this to me?"

"No, it's not like you're our leader or anything." Toolshed said

Cartman was about to object but Mysterion cut him off "It's fine Stan, I was just about to go over a plan."

Toolshed took a seat at the table and his dad sat next to him

"That's Humankite's seat." Coon pointed

"Cartman it's fine, he isn't even here right now." Toolshed said "So why did you guys decide to come?"

"I had nothing better to do."  
"He told us to come to his house and he we are." Clyde said unenthusiastically and Token nodded

"If everyone is done chatting now... Here's what we're gonna do." Mysterion began before being interrupted once more, this time by the Coon ad Friends alarm going off and the television turning on.  
"God damn it." Mysterion face palmed

* * *

Mysterion shut the television off and the group sat in a momentary silence by what just happened.  
Freja Ollegard had just commented suicide by jumping out of a story window.  
But before any of the kids could say anything Randy broke the silence himself

"Wait, what time is it?"

"It's ab-" Mysterion started

"I gotta get home, More of the debates are about to be broadcasted." Randy stated eagerly before bolting up the stairs

"Ugh..."  
"I still don't get the fascination of Giant Douches and Turd Sandwhiches..." Toolshed mumbled

"Anyways!..." Mysterion raised his voice "We're going to lay out these around a part of town."

Mysterion handed Toolshed a stack of papers with writing

"You sure this will work?"

* * *

The group of heroes along with Craig's gang followed Mysterion until he stopped at the newly built marketplace

"Wow they already built a new food market where wholefoods used to be?" Stan looked on "Why are we here?"

"The entire town seems to shop here and the parking lot is always packed with vehicles, we'll start here and place the notes onto every car."

"This whole thing is dumb." Coon mumbled

"Coon and I will keep watch out of sight and see how people react to the written message."

"Roger." Clyde said grabbing some pages out of the stack "Come on guys." Craig, Tweek and Token followed him

Stan slid some paper under a few window wipers before following suit of Clyde and the others while Mysterion and Coon went to find a good place to keep track of the parking lot.

* * *

Mysterion was keeping track of one side of the parking lot while Coon was watching the other side, both watching people come and go while Toolshed and the others put papers onto the window shields of every car that pulled into the parking lot as soon as the owner of said cars entered the store, whenever someone came towards them they hid out of sight behind other parked cars, making sure to not be seen until they're done. There were a few times where some suspicious people jumped after reading what was written on the paper, Coon and Mysterion took note of them and Mysterion had to keep Coon from charging at them.

"Anything yet?" Toolshed asked, he and Clyde's group finished lying out the stack of pages they were given

"Yeah..." Coon mumbled still looking around

Mysterion didn't say a word also keeping his sight on the parking lot when suddenly Kyle's dad came out of the store Mysterion didn't really pay him much attention looking in other parts of the parking lot before looking back in time to see him smash his cell phone and speed out of the parking lot.  
"What the fuck was up with that?" Mysterion said to himself

"Up with what?" Toolshed asked before noticing the speeding car "Who's car is that?"  
"It looks familiar." He noted

Coon looked at the car narrowing his eyes suspiciously but shrugged it off, for the next hour they all watched people enter and exit the store until all the remaining marked cars were gone They had planned to meet up at base but Coon said he had something important he needed to do so they all agreed to meet up tomorrow.

Mysterion walked over to the library and got on a Computer there, he was to poor to have his own, the only device he owns is a used phone Stan gave him a while back, he texted Kyle asking what his dad's email was which Kyle replied giving him it but questioned why he needed it, Mysterion didn't text him back instead focusing on the PC and then sending a message to Gerald's email saying he knows who he is and to meet on the bridge at 9pm tonight, Mysterion then logged off and left the Library not noticing that he was being watched by someone.

* * *

(Sorry for the long wait I meant to post this a long time ago but this isn't my favorite and I _had_ wanted to revise it after I had looked over it, but after having to rewrite this entire thing multiple times when I first started writing this chapter ((My battery kept disagreeing and powering off causing me to lose some work more than once)) I had less of a desire to do so and I apologize for how lazy this chapter was written as well as any spelling mistakes.)


	10. Chapter 10

(If you're one of the six current people following this fic and was alerted to this chapter being uploaded I just wanted you to know the page before this chapter was updated with a chapter of it's own, thought I should state this so no returning readers misses this fact and gets confused.)

* * *

Gerald arrived beneath the bridge specified in the email but no one was there and he became more paranoid, he waited a few minutes before turning around to leave but as he made his way back to the top of the bridge in the direction of home a dark cloaked figure appeared behind, startling him.

"Hello Skankhunt." The figure whispered from behind "Sorry for being late there was another matter I had to take care of on my way here."

"Who are you?" Gerald asked afraid to turn around

"I am Mysterion and I am here to take you in."  
"But before I do so, I need to ask you some questions."

"Are you a cop?" Gerald asked nervously

Mysterion opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a larger figure appearing from the shadows who then tackled Gerald to the ground and lashing their claws into the unarmed man's face.

"I should of known Skankhunt42 was a Jew this entire time!" "No, I knew he had to be but I didn't want to believe my bigoted thoughts!" "You motherfucker!" The Coon yelled out extremely pissed off, Mysterion snapped out of his stupor grabbing a hold of Coon's arms and attempted to pull him off the man "Cartman calm the fuck down before you kill him" Mysterion shouted before Coon shoved him away "No fuck off Kenny, I don't care if he's Kyle's Dad I'm gonna rip his head off and give it to Stan's gay dog before using the rest of his remains as-" Coon was interrupted from his rant as Mysterion hit him "Damn it Kenny I-" Mysterion hit him again "Kenny stop that!" And again... "God damn it Kenny!"

Coon kicked Mysterion far which caused him to nearly fall off the bridge, grabbing hold of a railing to keep himself from falling into the water below

"Fuck off Kenny." Coon said looking down at the kid whose hands were having a bit of a hard time keeping grip

"Cartman... You don't have to be the bad guy here..."

"Oh no, don't you start with that crap again." Coon rolls his eyes "He is the bad guy here, him" he pointed "Don't go trying to guilt trip me, it didn't work last time and it won't work this time either."

Coon's last sentence gave Mysterion an idea "What about Kyle."

"Screw that Jewish asshole."

"He feels awful for what he and the others did to you." Mysterion mentioned

"Whatever, he's probably pleased with himself even after finding out I was innocent." Coon argued

"He still seemed bothered about it the last time I talked with him."

Cartman raised an eyebrow "Why?"

"Why not ask him yourself, but I doubt he'd want to talk about it if you end up killing Gerald."

"I really hate you Kenny..." Coon grumbled before pulling up Mysterion by his hood

"Hey watch the costume fatboy."

"Shut your goddamn mouth before I throw you back off!"

"Channel that rage dude, no promises but we might need it in the interrogation." Mysterion said causing a grin to form on The Coon's face.

* * *

"Huh, what..."  
"Where the heck am I?" Asked Gerald as he raised his head and looked around

"Ah, you're awake." Said a fat shadowy figure walking towards the man "Perfect."

"Bru... Bruce Vilanch?"

"No, Not god damn fucking shit ass Bruce Vilanch!"  
"I am The Coon!" Coon grunted angrily "K-... Mysterion, can I kick his ass some more after this interrogation?"  
"You promised me that I could beat the shit out of him." Coon retorted

Mysterion just walked towards the two and raised his hand to Coon signaling him to back off a bit Coon just cursed at no one in particular under his breath before grumpily complying though keeping his sight on the asshole they have caged up in the jail cell of Coon's lair.

"Oh, you're just kids..."  
"Hey wait a minute, you're the ones who attacked me at the bridge!"

"Gerald." Mysterion calmly said

"How do you know my name."

"I know a lot more than just your name, such as you being the father of Kyle and Ike Brovloski, and that you're a lawyer."

"Who... Who are you guys?" Gerald asked still not sure of the situation he's in. "We're Coon and friends duh." Thought Coon

"This conversation isn't about us, it's about you."  
"All I want to know is why."  
"Why are you Skankhunt." Mysterion questioned Gerald

"It's Skankhunt42, and I'm not telling either of you anything." He stated

"Well then I guess we're going to be here for a while..." Mysterion said before gesturing to Coon to assist him in the interrogation

"About fucking time, I was getting bored watching you play pussy good cop."  
"Now..."  
"Tell us everything or I'll rip your balls off with my bare hands!" Coon said angrily

"You wouldn't do that." Gerald wasn't amused with the two kids, thinking this situation is just plain ridiculous

"With my bare hands damn you." Coon repeated with a bit more intimidation and a small spark of static escaped out of him

"What the fuck was that?" Gerald asked taking notice

"What was what?" Both Mysterion and Coon asked simultaneously

* * *

I actually had this chapter done for a while now, you may have noticed Dildo Swaggins is not in this chapter and I don't plan on having him meet Gerald ((though that may change later on it just depends,)) this chapter and the one before this were written before his character was introduced and after some thought I decided to keep him out. Truth be told this originally was going to be only a two shot fanfic and I never planned on writing past those two first chapters, but it has taken its own route now and since I've made it this far I might as well keep going, sadly this means Heiman won't appear either, however there will probably still be references to future episodes of season 20. get over it.(Cartman)


End file.
